I get "unexpected" visits from my characters who need someone to talk to, I end up being their Psychologist/Therapist - I mean who doesn't have problems or need someone to talk to every once in a while. The visits are so unexpected, my brain conjures up an office!
And earlier today, a sweet young man visited me in my head wanting to talk.
Dear ol' sweet Ronnie boy - Donnie's lover, for those of you who don't know. He is quite a fascination.
So we talked about how things are going for him. And honestly, he's too frustrated from his own mother, and the thing going on with Jessica - his supposedly arranged future bride.
And this happened BEFORE he even decided to go back to Donnie (short story that will be published soon!).
He scruffed his hair with his hands from his frustration, I had to watch his every move. I can feel the tension that was so built up inside of him.
"Tell me, Ronnie, how do u feel by your mom's actions?"
After his hair being a mess like a chicken left it's nesting, he chuckled, "Oh man. Where do I start H'deel?! She's too controlling, I can't handle it anymore. I can feel my rebellious side coming out now since I'm battling my emotions. I'm not saying I'm not a rebel. I am due to my appearance and music preference. But I'm talking about kind of a riot rebel."
"Okay, I'm guessing you don't want to listen to your mother anymore?"
"Nope! I'm about to be twenty years old, and my mom is still making decisions for me. But I won't allow her to, not anymore. I won't allow her to keep controlling me like this. I need to take a stand for myself now."
"I see. Looks like you've been growing," I smiled. I continued, "Have your feelings changed the slightest bit for Jessica at least?"
"Hell no!" Now his tension was rolling off. "I'm not saying it in a bad way. It's just I feel nothing for no other girl except Donnie. Now, I've had my fair share of girlfriends in the past, but it never stayed for too long. I've tried to keep my feelings away for Donnie, but I can't. I just couldn't..." he said sounding a bit desperate at the end.
"And why is that Ron? You know how broken Donnie is. You know how she lost her parents, and how she had to grow up under someone else's hands instead of her own blood. Why can't you see other girls? Why can't you see Jessica?"
His eyes suddenly began to water. "I don't care how broken she is, and I don't care about other girls. She CAN be happy. I care about her and always will as a best friend or more. Because Donnie is...love," he smiled. "She is. No matter how much she's broken inside, still, I can read her eyes that hold that feeling so intense that she is just the emotion itself: love.
"When I look into her eyes, they reveal to me, they show me a craving so strong, it's hard not to resist getting lost in the depths of them and getting closer to her like a shining star. She needs someone to hold her, to remind her that there is color in the world, and that it's okay to let go of what pains her, to allow herself to love. She's like a meteorite fallen not too far away from it's galaxy. This craving she's ignited in me is like an attraction of a moth to a dangerous, wicked flame. And I swear, just being around her feels like death surrounds her eminent beauty, and it's a feeling I've never felt before coming off of her after that bastard Marylin came into our lives, and I have extreme fear for her life everyday while being far away from her. Not mines'.
"If anyone were to fall for this girl, they'll surely be dead. And since I've fallen hard in love for my best friend, I may might as well already be."
O.O I became in awe at how much devotion he has for this girl. I love Donnie as the person she is. She may be somewhat weak, but she has strength inside of her, and I admire that in her. It's true what he says too. Even if she is so broken, still she's all the love in the world she can give and offer. No wonder Marylin has such a deep attraction to her, and wants her his forever.
"Look, H'deel, I will do whatever it takes to have Donnie mine, and only mine. And if it means surrendering my life for her, then fuck it, I'll do it in less than a heartbeat without thinking about it twice."
After feeling he let out some issues off his shoulders, the Session ended with him disappearing.
One of the things I hate that my characters have a fond of doing is leaving me hanging >_> . *Sigh*.
Everyone should know something about Donnie. When Donnie was created, she's this other deeper part of me that I didn't know existed. She's basically born from a piece of my heart, but the part of me that was innocent and pure and easy to be called love.